Crazy Things Students Say

A few years ago I started keeping track of the off-the-wall stuff that students say.  Typically, the funny things are loosely connected to the material but provide some interesting insight into what they are thinking about during class.  I will post them here as I collect them in my classroom.  For a frame of reference, I teach high school chemistry and most of the comments are quite tangential to what we were discussing in class that day.

“Is there a negative zero?”

“Coach, would you trust a Canadian doctor with a lisp?”

My introduction to the Southern language through my students including but not limited to:”dag-gummit”, “y’all”, “used to could”, “cuttin’ up”,”hisself”,”idinit”

I asked a student if his earrings were new and one of his friends responded, “He’s been had two.”

Test instructions read: Determine whether the following are physical or chemical properties.  Question: Color is Yellow : Answer: Magnesium

“Hey Coach, you know what I got shocked by the other day? A tater tot!”

“Who is you and what is me?”

“Good morning jive turkeys.” stated by a student coming in late to class

Conversation with a student…

  • Student: “There’s my mom’s email at the bottom.”
  • Me: “I know, I found it and emailed her yesterday”
  • Student: “She said that.  That’s what reminded me to write it down for you.  I thought you still needed it.”

“Mr. Ming, why do you have an Asian last name if you are Canadian?” I am neither Asian nor Canadian, but they seem to think I am and that Michigan is a part of Canada

Test Question: Calculate the molarity of a solution containing 0.2 mol of sodium hydroxide in 0.5 L of water…Student Answer: “Freezing”

Which is larger, a meter or a centimeter?  Answer: “D”

“Why are them numbers all katty-wompis?”

“Toot it and boot it”

“If we become part of the big sun, couldn’t we just take a spaceship to Jupiter and live there?”

“So basically, there are people in my twinkies?” We were talking about the Law of Conservation of Matter

Teacher: “Are you ok?” Response: “We go hard in the paint like flock-a-flame.”

We he goes outside sometimes he is a Mr. Puss-pants.”

“Yeah, why did they build those?” In reference to the Great Lakes

“Coach, isn’t molarity a disease?”

Teacher: “The ability to attract an electron is called what?” Response: “Spittin game?”

Teacher: “Would you rather die knowing that you are going to die, or fearing for your life?” Response: “I’d rather see the aliens.”

Coach, have you ever had a staring contest with a raccoon?  I have and I lost.  I thought it was a cat, so I meowed at it.”

“What would you name your pet ninja?”

“Grey makes my eyes cry”

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